


Fit to be Tied

by sweete_serendipity



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bondage, Consensual Kink, Consent, Discussions of Past Trauma, Dom/sub Play, Fluff, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, No S/M (sadism/masochism), Rope Bondage, Shibari, but sometimes Killua just wants to not be so responsible anymore, discussions of consent, first time kink play, kink clubs, mild exhibitionism, soft dom, they're switches okay, this is mostly soft with Little Shit energy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-01-24 00:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21329392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweete_serendipity/pseuds/sweete_serendipity
Summary: It was a passing side comment, a mild expression of interest in spicing things up in the bedroom.But now they're at the kink club Killua looked up on the internet, and there's no going back.(not that he wants to)An exploration of Killugon experimenting with kink and working around the various difficulties that can come with it - including the past trauma the Zoldycks have left Killua with.(note: There's no actual sex in this fic...yet)
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 18
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (About Ch1)  
Coru - I'm sorry it's late! I hope you enjoy it alright!

He’d agreed to it, but he couldn’t help feeling shaky and nervous, clenching his hands so tightly that his knuckles had gone whiter than bone. Gon was chattering away in the driver’s seat, curious and more than interested by the birthday gift he’d vaguely requested about a month back.

Well. He hadn’t exactly requested this specific thing, just something…new. Killua could remember it with perfect clarity, Gon rolling onto his side on their bed, the cute, thoughtful crinkle at the corner of his eye and nose indicating that he was thinking hard about something. At the time, Killua had laughed at him, pleasantly boneless on the mattress and sticky from previous activity. And then Gon had just-

“I was thinking…it would be fun if we did something different?” he’d ventured. “Like…I love what we’re doing now, but it could be fun to mix it up a bit?”

Killua’s eyebrows had shot up into his hairline, intrigued, and he’d blurted out the first thing that found its way to his tongue, blushing something fierce.

“You mean, like, make it kinky?”

Gon had turned red around the edges of his face and nodded. And at the sight of Gon’s embarrassment, Killua, being the idiot that he was, had agreed almost immediately, and then pounced on his lover with a yowl. He hadn’t wanted Gon to feel ashamed of being curious about kink, at all, and so he’d responded enthusiastically. But he hadn’t really thought about what that meant until a cursory web search later that evening had sparked his current, absolutely batshit plan. The plan that was sending spiraling anxiety fluttering through his chest.

Gon parallel parked with intense concentration, trying not to grind the tires and hubcaps against the curb the way he’d done so many times before. Then the wheels creaked, metal scraping over stone. Killua winced, and Gon chuckled sheepishly from behind the wheel.

“Oops.”

Killua poked him hard in the shoulder, trying to hide his nerves, but they’d arrived at the place he’d looked up and there really wasn’t any avoiding it now. Gon whined playfully at him, then poked him back. And then his expression turned warm, amber gaze glinting, and the giggly grin deepened into a smile.

“Okay. How do you want to do this, Killua?”

The heat that flooded up Killua’s neck was quicker than fire crowning, leaping from his heart into his face. He shifted uncomfortably, the pleather car seat sticking to the back of his black leggings. He’d dressed attractively on purpose, putting on the form-fitting scene clothing that usually had Gon’s eyes wandering, but he’d kept to comfortable cotton, cloth and the usual hints of leather. Just in case.

“…uh. It’s your birthday, you decide.”

Gon’s eyebrows knitted together in consternation, and suddenly there was a hand on Killua’s knee, squeezing lightly. They sat there for a moment, wordless, Gon waiting patiently for Killua’s tongue to start working again enough for him to give voice to whatever was lurking in his mind. But when he didn’t speak, Gon leaned over and pecked his cheek with a sloppy, silly kiss that elicited an indignant squawk.

“You’re tense,” he singsonged, dodging the swipe of Killua’s batting hands. Blue eyes glared at him.

“You got_ slobber_ on my face!”

“You don’t have a problem when I get it in your mouth though~”

“Gon!”

The silliness and teasing did the trick though, let Killua relax enough to sigh, Gon’s giggly smirk still hovering behind the wheel of the car. The hand on his knee slid up his thigh a few inches and squeezed again.

“I’m just nervous because it’s new, that’s all,” he said firmly, and watched as Gon’s eyebrows rose. “Neither of us know our limits yet. But I’m being serious – it’s _your_ birthday, you decide how we do this.”

Gon regarded him for a moment, keen hazelgold glance tracing the angles of Killua’s face, searching for any signs of falsehood or forced cheer. Then he sighed, and shifted behind the wheel, blushing a bit.

“Okay then. Um. Do you mind if I take charge, then?”

Killua felt a shiver travel down his spine, but he sucked in a sharp breath and nodded, running a loose hand through the white hair. The resulting grin that split Gon’s bronze face was completely worth it, his freckles crinkling into the creases around his mouth. And that smile loomed over him, grew close until it was kissing the worry from his lips. He sighed, lacing his fingers through his partner’s, kissing Gon back as fiercely as he could manage. Stupid idiot. He always wanted kisses.

Not that Killua was complaining.

They made out across the car seats for a few minutes, Killua yanking on Gon’s hair and gripping the bronze bicep hard enough to leave a mark, Gon’s tongue swiping behind white teeth, his hands wandering beneath the cropped hem of Killua’s black top, pressing firmly into his ribcage. And then they broke apart, panting into each other’s throats, smiling. A flat tan nose nuzzled into a pale pulse, and Gon hummed.

“Do you want to go in now?”

Killua took a deep breath.

“Yeah, let’s go before a crowd shows up.”

Gon grinned against his collarbone, then pulled back and grabbed the keys out of the ignition.

“Alright. You get the fun stuff out of the back, and we’ll go?”

Killua went pink across the face, the mere knowledge of exactly what was in the bag he’d packed enough to send all sorts of ideas bouncing off the inside of his skull. He swallowed, trying to regain his composure.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that works.”

* * *

From the outside, the building was nondescript – a two-story brick warehouse with blacked-out windows on the first level and heavy curtains on the second, sandwiched tightly between the two small coffeeshops on either side of it. The door was a solid black as well, the paint only cracked a little on the top corner. But the tall, broad woman standing outside, dressed neatly in a black muscle tee, creased black pants, and a thin silver choker made it clear that the inside of the building was probably very different than its unremarkable exterior. She eyed them as they approached, then straightened up with some interest as they made a beeline for her.

“Ah, you two are new.” Her tone was friendly, but a touch guarded. “What are you here for?”

Gon glanced back at Killua and raised an eyebrow – his cue to speak up. He stuck his hands in his pockets, the old pose something a comfort in front of this woman who could almost look him in the eye. Not many people hit 6’3” in the first place, let alone women, and he was loath to admit that the bouncer reminded him of Bisky – hence the terror.

“I saw on your website it was uh. Beginners’ Night? And it’s my partner’s birthday, so we thought we’d try something new.”

The woman’s expression cleared and she nodded cheerfully, suddenly becoming very bubbly.

“Oh! Yes, we were hoping we’d get some curious folks tonight.” She eyed them both up and down, casting a critical gaze over their outfits. Killua waited, a touch anxious about this part. He was aware that most kink clubs like this one had a dress code, and so they’d tried to meet the standard as best as they could, dressing much edgier than usual. Or, much edgier than _Gon’s_ usual. Killua had opted for a crop top and black leggings, the seams of which were trimmed with white pleather, plus a pair of knee-length boots, whereas he’d had to convince Gon of the longsleeve black tee with laced-together sleeves and a sheer panel in the front, and the distressed black jeans.

They were both tame by kink standards – almost vanilla – but they didn’t exactly have the experience necessary yet to really figure out what would count, and they didn’t exactly want to resort to cosplay yet. Plus, there were accessories in the bag. Those would help.

The woman’s dark eyes fluttered back up to their faces, and she shrugged, looking a bit worried.

“You both checked the dress code, yes?”

They nodded, and she frowned, glancing up at them.

“Okay then. Then just be aware – on a normal night, what you’re currently wearing wouldn’t cut it as is, unless you changed inside. Your tops are fine, but jeans don’t work, and the leggings would probably better if they were completely leather. You could get away with it if you dressed it up a bit, but right now it’s definitely too beginner-level for our usual. Tonight it works though.”

Killua held out the backpack in his hands then, a little sheepish, and unzipped the front portion.

“We uh. Were planning on using these inside.”

The woman’s lips quirked up in a grin then, and she peeked in curiously. Her smile widened.

“Oh, you two _did_ read our website, didn’t you? Those work fine for our club. Alright then. I need to see ID from the two of you now. You don’t _look_ younger than 18, but I’m not taking any chances.”

They each pulled out a driver’s license to show her their ages, then watched as she rubbed her hands together and pressed a pager on her belt. It crackled for a moment, and then a slender waif of a woman dressed in all black pushed the club’s door open. There was a tag on the front of her shirt with the letters DM written it, and she perked up the second she saw Gon and Killua standing uncertainly at the entrance.

“Oh! Newbies?” she chirped. “Perfect, I’ll take care of them. Be a good girl and stay out here another three hours, and then you can demonstrate the St. Andrew’s Cross for me, okay sweet one?”

The bouncer flushed scarlet across the cheeks, and bowed.

“Yes, madam.”

The smaller woman laughed, patted the bouncer on the head, then turned to a stunned Killua and Gon and waved them in.

“Alright you two, follow me over to the ticketing bar, and then we’ll teach you the basics.”

* * *

The DM’s play-name was Silver, and she refused to go by anything other than that, but she was energetic enough, and the other DMs and staff scattered around the club waved as she passed. She led them easily over to a low, sunken area that was cluttered with couches, chairs, and a few other couples, then sat them both down. All black leather, of course.

“Okay.” She plopped into a plush chair across from them and picked up a riding crop from a nearby bag that was labeled with her play-name. “Ground rules for the club. No full frontal-nudity, no penetration of any kind, even with toys, and a Dungeon Master’s word is law on the ground floor. You do what we tell you, at all times. It’s for safety reasons. No touching other people without permission, no intervening in other people’s scenes, and the bar will only serve you food and non-alcoholic beverages. Clear so far?”

Killua’s head was spinning already, and he took Gon’s hand in his own, squeezing lightly. Gon laughed, knocking their temples together.

“Yep!”

Silver grinned widely at them, flicking her riding crop expertly.

“Good, I’ll continue. Because tonight is a Beginners’ Night, we have some in-house rules of play for anyone planning to do more than watch. One – Submissives will address Dominants other than their own as sir, ma’am, or a gender-neutral identifier prescribed by the Dom in question. Two – You clean ANY AND ALL equipment that you play on. We have disinfectant and wipes on hand. Three – because you are beginners, I’ll be teaching and monitoring you pretty much the whole night, so what you do around me is to your comfort level only. And four – the universal safeword in this club is ‘Red’. You scream Red and everything stops – we will enforce it. Saying ‘No’ isn’t enough unless you two agree that’s a safeword beforehand and alert me to it. If you’re playing with gags, the safeword will be the jingling of a keyring – we have spares in the back. Also clear?”

They both nodded, and Silver smiled.

“Okay, so. Who’s the Dom, who’s the Sub tonight? I’m aware you may want to switch, so just let me know when, if you do.”

Killua swallowed around the lump of anxiety in his throat, trying not to break Gon’s hand from gripping it too tightly. Gon pecked his cheek.

“I’m dominant for tonight – Killua let me pick.” Warmth flushed Killua’s cheeks in a fluid rush of heat again, Gon’s words reminding him that - yes, he’d let Gon take control, and yes, that sent butterflies stirring in his stomach. Silver glanced between them for a moment, then nodded decisively and leaned back in her chair, riding crop tapping.

“Sounds good. May I ask what’s in the backpack?”

Killua pulled the canvas bag into his lap and unzipped the front pocket to again display the objects inside. Silver’s green eyes curved into happy crescents, and she cooed a bit.

“Oh, that’s precious, I love the tooled designs. And that blue collar- Can I assume you’ll both be interested in bondage tonight, then? I can reserve a few of the bigger toys for you to play on – like the stocks, or the pillory.”

Gon glanced at Killua, looking askance, heat sliding into that amber stare. The fluttering nerves in the pit of Killua’s stomach started to melt away. Oh no. He couldn’t let Gon have his way _that_ easily.

“Ooh, can I tie you up, Killua?”

A coquettish smirk settled onto pale lips, and Killua leaned back in silent smugness, humming quietly.

“I don’t know, _can_ you?”

Silver covered her mouth with a hand to hide a smile, looking a touch surprised, but Gon lunged before she could speak, hands slamming into the couch cushion on either side of Killua’s shoulders, caging him against the black leather cushion. Killua yelped in shock, the sudden playful aggression from his partner like a shock of cold water, but pleasant. Gon growled at him a little, amber eyes flashing, his breath warm on Killua’s cheek.

“Hmmm, why don’t we find out?”

And then he pulled back, taking the backpack Killua had been holding with him and pulling out the tooled leather collar they’d purchased just for this occasion, twirling it around a finger. The fluid paisley design tooled into the leather distorted the reflection of light on its smooth surface prettily.

“I think I’ll set some rules for tonight?”

Killua nodded to show that he was listening, scooting closer so that Gon could unclasp and fasten the soft thing around his throat. It clipped with a faint click at the nape of his neck, resting lightly against his skin, the single D-shaped ring at the front lying flat against the dark blue material.

“Okay, first rule - Talk to me? Tell me if you’re just tolerating something for my sake.”

“Now wait just a second, Gon-mmph!”

Gon’s hand had clapped over his mouth, a sharp look in Gon’s eye that sent Killua’s insides turning into mush again. The deep blue collar around his neck bobbed as he swallowed.

“I’m your Dom tonight. That wasn’t a request, it was an order,” Gon said stubbornly. “I know you, Killua. You’ll do pretty much anything I ask you to, especially on my birthday and I don’t want you to not have fun for my sake. This is an experience for both of us, not just me. So you are to tell me if we do something you don’t like. Understand?”

Killua resisted the urge to bite Gon’s hand, instead just giving his partner a very cross look and nodding sullenly, and the hand lifted. It was supposed to be a present, dammit, but trust Gon to turn it into something like this. He sighed. That molten amber gaze was soft now.

“Second and last request. I want you to do whatever I tell you to tonight, unless you decide it’s too much for you, okay? Then you tell me no by saying ‘Red’. And you _have_ to tell me when it’s too much. Is that okay?”

Killua took a deep breath. Gon was asking a lot, and he knew it. Total obedience wasn’t something Killua gave _anyone_, not even the Zodiacs.

But Gon _was_ always the exception to every rule.

“Yeah, okay.”

* * *

They finished putting on the other two items in their backpack; leather lace-up vests shaped very clearly like corsets, but without the compression or rigid structure. Killua’s was cut high on his chest, a pretty shade of blue and tooled to match the collar, and Gon’s was a deep green color, and cut to stop beneath the bust, like a wide, laced-together belt. Gon also carefully hooked a chain leash to the collar around Killua’s neck, twirling the loose end around his fingers.

Then they stood up and left the lounge zone, Silver shadowing them quietly, and started to wander around the club. It wasn’t packed yet, far from it, but there were a good number of people scattered around, seated in the sporadic chairs placed strategically around the play area or on the equipment. For a little bit they watched curiously as a dominatrix in leather and latex lingerie whipped a man in too-tight boxers with a soft flogger, then quickly turned toward something else.

A tug came on the leash, and Killua yelped a bit as his collar was pulled on, Gon already walking in the direction of the far wall. He followed quickly with a huff, already instructed to not touch the leather collar around his throat, much to his chagrin. Then he stopped short at the sight, nerves fluttering into his chest again. It was just a normal, plain wall, the brick painted a dark grey, but several rings at varying heights had been set in the stone, and a large amount of assorted ribbons, ropes, and chains were arranged on a table in the corner.

They stopped in front of a set of the rings that Silver directed them to, and Gon turned, the silver chain leash in his hand clinking softly. He looked nervous too, Killua realized, a touch of warmth curling around his cheeks, but it was the nervous excitement of a small puppy. Gon stepped towards him, flattening a deeply tanned palm across his chest, and pushed steadily, driving Killua back until his shoulder blades hit brick. Breath whistled from Killua’s lips, staring down at the dark, warm gaze of the man pinning him to the wall. He stayed very still, body tingling like a live wire.

“Ribbon, rope, or chains and cuffs?”

Killua’s gaze slid down. Gon’s mouth was so close…

“…Uh…start with rope?”

Gon nodded his understanding, and took a step away, hand still flattened against Killua’s heartbeat. Silver had already darted over to the table, and as they watched she came back holding four or five pieces of white rope that were about as thick around as her pinkie finger. She passed these ropes to Gon, her riding crop hooked onto her belt.

“First – inspect the ropes for frays, dirt, or imperfections. You won’t find any on these, of course, and they’re all fresh from a nearby hardware store, but any good Dom will do so before using them in a scene,” Silver instructed, standing a pace back and watching as Gon did exactly that, looking over the entire length of the five ropes he’d been handed. Killua watched with some trepidation, shoulder blades still pressed against the brick, the leather faux-corset starting to feel a little tight around his chest.

Silver glanced up at him then, green eyes flashing, and she smiled reassuringly.

“May I touch you to show your Dom a simple column tie?”

Killua nodded and held out an arm, watching the process as if through a screen while Silver folded one of the ropes in half and wrapped it around his wrist three times before tying a neatly folded knot that passed under the cuff of rope knotted around his wrist. Gon watched intently, chatting with Silver the whole time, then was allowed to practice several times before the DM took a pace back.

It was so strangely familiar, and yet so different at the same time. Killua blinked, trying to clear the cloying thickness rising up the back of his throat.

“Right. Now, be sure to check for pulse and feeling in his extremities every so often – and you, if you feel any tingling, numbness, or pain, you call the safeword immediately.” The last sentence was directed at Killua and he looked up to see the DM watching him carefully, green eyes flickering across his face. “Nerve damage is a serious issue, and we’re not going to have anyone injuring themselves here tonight.”

Nerve damage, right. That had been an issue, hadn’t it? He could remember Illumi mentioning it at some point in his youth, explaining why the heavy iron cuffs were so wide, why it was necessary to build up his endurance-

He shook himself. Gon was looking at him a little strangely now, eyebrows furrowed together in concern, and Silver was staring, waiting. Her expression softened.

“Are you nervous?” she asked. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, you know.”

Killua shifted, back still pressed to the wall. Not all the nervousness he was feeling was negative, he knew that clearly. And he knew that because this was Gon holding the rope, Gon tugging on the leash, Gon putting that collar on his neck. Gon wouldn’t hurt him, not unless he wanted it, not unless he said it was okay – that was just plain, immutable fact.

And right now, he wanted Gon to look at him, only at him, to love him in that blindingly bright way Killua had so much trouble accepting . So he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“No. It’s just new, that’s all.”

Gon didn’t look entirely convinced, but he sighed and stepped forward nonetheless, ropes in hand.

“You zone out like that again, we’re stopping,” he said firmly, the set of his jaw making it impossibly clear that, even if Killua argued, it wouldn’t be a fight he could win. So instead he just leaned back and stuck out his tongue.

“Don’t bore me to pieces then- ah!”

Gon’s knee pressed more firmly against his crotch, rubbing slowly, and Killua’s hands flew out to grasp at Gon’s shoulders, cheeks starting to burn. Silver’s gaze on them felt piercing, and he felt naked suddenly, like a specimen under a microscope. Gon was practically molesting him in _public_\- gods, his heart was pounding already and it hadn’t even been a full two minutes yet.

“It’s cute that you think you can backtalk me right now, Killua~” Gon purred at him, hazel eyes practically glowing. Suddenly a strong hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling his hand off the bronze shoulder. “I think I’ll have to fix that.”

Killua watched, half-hypnotized as Gon wound the folded rope around his wrist twice and tied a knot, the cuff of synthetic white rope about four fingers wide. And then his hand was pulled up, above his head and out to the side, where Gon pulled the loose end of the rope through a steel ring and then back again through the rope loop – a bight – that formed the rope’s tied end. By the time Gon was done, there was a pretty cat’s cradle of rope tying his pale hand to the wall. Then the dark haired man did the same to his other wrist, splaying him against the brick.

The knee on his groin ground down again and Killua’s face scrunched up, tugging at the ropes that bound him lightly. And then, after a moment’s shocked pause, he gave the ropes a wicked yank, heart leaping into his throat. He couldn’t break them. He couldn’t break free.

Well, that was the point, in theory. But he, using his full strength, couldn’t break the ropes. He took a shuddering breath, heartbeat echoing in his head, and craned his head back to get a better look. And there was the shining flicker of Gon’s Nen trailing along the ropes, infusing them with the strength necessary to withstand a Zoldyck. Clever, and more than a little knock to the crate of butterflies in Killua’s stomach. It wouldn’t hold up if he used his own Nen in response, of course, but it would prevent him from accidentally breaking something. Heaven knows he’d done it before, splintering the headboard of their bed more than once with his grip strength.

And it could temporarily, even if only for a moment, give him the illusion of being utterly at Gon’s mercy.

Gon reached out and cupped his face in a warm hand, the other hand unclipping the silver leash from the blue collar around Killua’s throat. His expression was tender, and very intense, and Killua wanted to both curl away from that heated stare and to soak in it. It wasn’t like he actually had options though, forced to stand under that burning, soft gaze, bound to the wall behind him. He could feel his heart pounding in his ribcage, the warmth of helpless embarrassment bubbling in his stomach. The flush in his face burnt red hot.

“Is this okay?” Gon asked, rubbing the pad of a thumb over Killua’s cheekbone. The callouses there were rough against smooth skin. Hazel eyes locked on wide blue, liquid honey looming up like golden moons, the dusting of freckles across Gon’s face a constellation. It took effort to swallow, his throat closing up again, chest tightening the way it would when his mother left him hanging in the basement for punishment, alone in the dark until uncountable days passed outside-

He shook himself again, trying to keep the memories away, but both Gon and Silver caught the split second of panic spreading across his face, and from the concern already there he guessed that there had been more than a beat of silence after Gon’s question. Silver pulled out a pair of flat scissors, her expression verging on alarm. Killua shook his head again, a little more frantic.

“No, it’s- I’m fine,” he hurried out, words breathless and tripping over each other. Gon stood back a bit, petting the sides of Killua’s neck and chest reassuringly.

“No, you’re _not_ fine, you’re zoning out like you’ve seen a ghost and I don’t know why.” Gon’s voice was patient, but there was a flicker of frustration in the way he raked a hand across Killua’s belly a touch more roughly than usual. Silver paused with her scissors out, poised to cut the ropes binding Killua to the wall, nodding her agreement wordlessly.

_“Okay, first rule - Talk to me?”_

The first rule of the evening. His mouth felt dry but – if it made them stop-

“Yes, I _am_ fine- it just reminds me of…of my family, Gon. That’s all.”

Killua had only ever seen Gon lose color faster than that once before in his life, and that had been after a Jajanken gone horribly wrong ten years ago and the death of Neferpitou. He shifted, hands flexing uselessly in their bonds, and he nudged at Gon with a foot as the man went for one of his tied wrists.

“Hey! No- Gon, stop, please.”

Gon glared at him, pausing but not backing away.

“I _told_ you, I’m not letting you tolerate stuff just to make me happy!”

“I’m not just tolerating it!”

That caused both the DM and his partner to stop short. A few of the spiky dark hairs fell into Gon’s eyes, the dark green faux-cincher around his waist gleaming in the club’s lights. The movement from their corner of the room was starting to get some attention from the more experienced players in the club, worried glances shot their way. Killua took a shuddering breath, trying to fight the rise of pink up his cheeks.

“…I-I trust you, Gon,” he said, trying to explain without letting his voice dwindle. “It’s just…I keep remembering. And it sucks because – fuck, I don’t want to _say _this – you know how bad I am at being emotionally vulnerable. You know I’m really, really bad at not just…trying to control everything, at not trying to plan everything out. But…I don’t know, I get tired after a while. This kind of forces me to be vulnerable to you. And I…I appreciate that. It’s…kind of nice to not be in control, but not have to worry about being safe. For once.”

Oh. Oh _shit_. Gon’s eyes had gone shiny and damp, and before he could say anything to stop the sappiness Gon’s face was pressed against his throat, dark spikes of hair tickling at Killua’s nose and chin, kissing his pulse gently. Silver’s expression had softened somewhat, watching them carefully. Killua twisted his wrists again, shivering a little, and warm hands dropped to his hips and the low waistline of his pants.

“I don’t want to remind you of what you went through, Killua.” The words were soft and husky, whispered against his skin and rippling over the collar around his throat. Killua sighed, relaxing as much as he could into Gon’s touch, trying to drive the point home.

“You don’t, Gon. That’s exactly my point – you _don’t_ remind me of what I went through. The memories come whether I want them or not, but you are _exactly_ what makes this different. So…can you keep going? I’m okay because it’s you, and because I know I still have control, if I need to claim it. I know you’ll give it to me.”

Gon pulled back a bit, his jaw set firmly, but his eyes were still shiny with choked emotion, and his lower lip trembled a bit. Killua felt his face flush again, burning across the bridge of his nose, and he ducked his face, trying to hide. Fingers slid beneath his chin, fluttering along his neck and gently coaxing him to raise his head.

“…C-Can I do anything to help stop you from remembering?” Gon’s voice was low, trembling quietly in the space between them. Killua let Gon force his chin up the rest of the way, swallowing hard, flexing his bound hands uselessly. What did help when the memories came, usually? Or at least, what small thing could he give Gon, to let his boyfriend feel like he could help?

“…talk to me if I zone out? Maybe? I’m not sure how to stop it, exactly, but if you’re there when I come back…?”

The suggestion cleared some of the worry lines from Gon’s bronze forehead, the smattering of freckles across his cheeks relaxing into their Milky Way spirals. Then the hand low on his hipbone shifted, the pad of Gon’s thumb massaging tiny circles into his skin there, the hem of the faux-corset riding up just enough to allow it. Killua sighed at the touch, and Gon kissed him gently. His lips were soft, moving tenderly against Killua’ mouth for a long moment, long enough to let Killua’s stuttering heart calm somewhat. It broke only after the flush across Killua’s nose had faded into soft pink, Gon pulling back mere centimeters.

“I’ll do that, then. And don’t hide stuff like this from me again,” Gon ordered, his words warm on Killua’s cheeks. Killua’s breath caught at the command, biting his lower lip uncertainly, and he fell silent.

Not answering was the wrong response – or perhaps a _very_ right one. Gon’s expression hardened, the fingers cupping his chin sliding back along the underside of his jaw to wrap loosely around his pulse. Killua tugged on his bonds again, uselessly shifting, the gossamer touches against his unprotected throat igniting some kind of fire in his stomach. One finger stroked down the line of his jugular, brushing over the edge of the collar.

“I mean it. Don’t hide this from me. I’ll- I’ll punish you,” Gon threatened. Killua choked a little bit at the term, then smiled faintly, cocking his head to the side.

“What if I want you to punish me, Gon?” he teased. Gon’s expression wavered a bit, a smile twitching at the edges of that handsome mouth, but he shook himself.

“Killua, I’m being serious. Tell me next time. Please.”

It would be really hard. Talking about anything with emotional weight behind it was one of his greatest weaknesses. It always had been. But Killua took a deep breath and nodded.

“…Okay. I can try.”

* * *

“G-Gon, I- _ah!_”

Killua bit his lower lip on the noise fighting to come out of his mouth, arching his back against the grey-painted brick, white hair and head grinding into the stone, but the mouth leaning up to torment his torso didn’t stop, nipping in delicate circles across the heaving lines of his obliques, down the gentle ridge where his ribcage ended. The faux corset had been unlaced from his torso, shirt pulled up, but the increase in skin shown was no longer much of a concern – not in his current predicament. Gon hummed up at him in response to his gasping pleas, clearly enjoying the torturous little touches and bites he was leaving all over the pale skin. Silver was still watching, a stopwatch in her hand, but by this point Killua was so frustrated he didn’t care who was watching anymore.

His knees bucked, but to no avail or relief from the ticklish, sweet torment. His ankles had been bound as well, thick cuffs of rope tying him securely to the brick with the same knot Gon had used earlier, Nen also highlighting this second set of rope. And while he could still stand – wearing ankle socks, he wasn’t standing barefoot on the _floor_, gross – the wide stance that his bonds forced on him didn’t give him much room for movement. Maybe a few inches of wiggle room.

All in all, it made it impossible for him to escape the hands and mouth teasing him into an unsatisfied frenzy – without resorting to Nen, that is.

Gon was still half-crouched between his spread legs, one calloused hand firmly gripping Killua’s hip, pinning him to the wall. And the other was low, massaging circles into the deep inside of Killua’s thigh through his pants, trailing featherlight touches over his groin every few seconds. It was enough to drive him up the wall, literally, every teasing touch and bite on his skin crackling like electricity over his entire body and pooling low in his stomach. And he _couldn’t. Move._

Gon’s lips left his torso then, the warm palms dragging up to encircle Killua’s waist, fingers pressing tightly over the tight column of muscle. He hummed, still fully clothed, the faux cincher about his waist only accentuating the sharp V of his chest into his hips. Killua panted breathlessly, relaxing into the ropes for just a moment.

“Oh, I know you can get louder than that, Killua,” he said, smirking, plenty pleased by the sheer amount of frustrated agony warping the pale face into scarlet need. “Come on, don’t hold your voice back now.”

And then he ground up, friction and pleasure rubbing over the tingling sensitivity of the throbbing erection straining beneath Killua’s pants. For a second it was like being electrocuted, but pleasantly, a rush of heady tension snapping to every limb in his body and he arched his back again, hands scrabbling uselessly at the wall behind him and the ropes that bound his arms overhead.

The noise he made sounded like a broken teakettle, a high whistling whine, and it made a delighted grin break out across Gon’s face.

“There you go, that’s it,” Gon cooed at him, grinning wickedly. Then the man rolled his hips again, another thrust of friction so uncharacteristically good that it had Killua’s voice cracking. He shuddered as the burst of pleasure faded, trying to parse out why he was so much more sensitive than usual, so much more responsive and wanting – but he knew why already. And it was exactly because he was helpless – or at least could believe he was.

“Gon, please, stop- _ah!”_

A third time, and this time faster, more grating, enough to cut him off midsentence, But the flicker in Gon’s determination hadn’t been missed. Silver took a cautious step closer – she’d seen the pause too, then. Killua took a quick, breathless moment to look at his partner, trying not to let the humiliation of the sounds coming out of his throat turn his cheeks redder than they already were.

“Wasn’t the safeword,” he reminded, voice strangled by arousal, and Gon’s expression cleared, looking relieved then.

“Right, you just like protesting everything.”

“I do not- _Gon.”_

The hand cupping his groin through his pants was cruel, almost painfully tight, but it was so good he almost let out a soft cry, only cutting himself off in time to make a choked gasp. Gon growled in disappointment.

“Okay, if you keep stifling your noises, I’m going to punish you by refusing to let you cum,” Gon threatened. “I’ll just torment you like this until _I’m _bored.”

_What. _Killua stared in disbelief and no mild horror, mouth slack, and he tugged uselessly at the Nen-reinforced ropes again, chest heaving. Gon smirked smugly up his nose at him, hand still palming Killua’s erection. His grip tightened again, drawing another strangled moan out of the paler man.

“Aah- ah, Gon _please_, I can’t- _Gods_-_”_

“So, I’m hearing you want me to tease you for another five minutes every time you cut yourself off like that?”

This was it then, this was how he died. Gon was actually going to kill him, and he was just going to have to hang here and take it while his brain slowly melted inside his skull from blushing too hard. The hand on his groin started to move again, rubbing back and forth in an unsatisfyingly arrhythmic staccato that had Killua kicking at the wall behind him and writhing in his bonds. Gon’s expression was patient, waiting. Killua knew the waiting had to be driving him equally crazy, whatever erection he was suffering through likely swollen from inattention.

But he couldn’t just make noise, just like that. Silence was a virtue – he couldn’t let anyone know how much he was being affected, couldn’t make a sound over this torment. Noise meant pain, and he wouldn’t cave, not after a lifetime of biting back tears-

_Fucking hell- _

“Easy, love, you’re with me, okay?” Gon’s voice was soft in his ear, his free hand resting lightly over Killua’s pulse for a moment before brushing lightly against one of Killua’s bound palms, testing for sensation. The gossamer touch tickled, felt rather than seen, and dark hair obscured most of his vision, Gon’s ear tucked against his chest, listening. The heat of his partner’s body was comfortingly warm, and Killua took a shuddering inhale, trying to clear his head. Soft strokes of heavy, gentle pressure curved down one side, Gon’s hand drawing thick patterns on his skin. The pressure was nice – like a weighted blanket.

“I’m here, Killua.”

Killua blinked through the tufts of rich, dark curls in his face, and sighed, Gon’s pressing weight against his chest turning him pliant and relaxed again. It was okay. He wasn’t in control, Gon was, and that was okay. Gon would take care of him.

“Is it difficult to stop cutting yourself off? I notice you do this at home a lot too.”

The warmth in Gon’s voice was unmistakable, the gentleness. So different from what he was familiar with.

“…yeah, a bit. Takes some thought.”

Gon pulled back with a smile at the sound of his voice, pinching Killua’s fingertips now, and Killua made a face at the man currently learning to be his Dom. Gon stuck his tongue out in response, then reached out to tweak Killua’s nose. Killua jerked back a bit, growling playfully.

“Oi! If my hands were free-”

“I’ll reward you every time you let your voice go, then,” Gon decided then, completely ignoring Killua’s indignation. Killua glowered for a moment, then squeaked in shock as Gon wrapped a hand around his neck and jaw, holding on securely, but without pressure. Killua could feel the blood pounding in his head, absolutely taken by this man in front of him, controlling him so thoroughly and yet remaining so mindful of his wishes. And that deadly wicked smirk returned, amber eyes flashing near dark with arousal.

“Can you make sound for me, Killua?”

And then there was a knee rubbing between his legs again, the sudden return of pressure sending pleasure spiking up his spine. He groaned, voice shuddering into high-pitched softness, but the effort was there. Gon positively beamed, then dove in for a sloppy, affectionate kiss that left Killua’s head positively spinning. He let his mouth open, challenging Gon for control of the kiss for a single moment, and then the knee ground against his groin again, and he lost concentration. Gon chuckled into the cavern of his mouth, breath warm behind Killua’s teeth.

“You’re so good, Killua. So kind to me.”

The pleasure from the touching and the purred praise sent his muscles clenching, and for the first time the ropes creaked slightly, but held up. Praise, praise for doing what Gon wanted, for making sound – praise for his pleasure. Fuck, that wasn’t playing _fair._ Gon stroked his palate with a delicate lick, drawing the umpteenth soft whimper out of his throat.

The stopwatch in Silver’s hand beeped then, and she took a step forward, looking somewhat apologetic, but overwhelmingly approving.

“Okay, you two. Time to take a break – new submissives should only be playing for thirty minutes at a time at the most, remember?”

Gon pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting them for a brief moment before the wet strand snapped and fell against Killua’s jaw. He looked a little disappointed by the time constraint, but his expression was bubbly and very satisfied, and he almost immediately turned to untie the rope from around Killua’s ankles. Silver approached from behind, taking all the used rope from Gon in gloved hands, then crossing the club floor to a trash can to throw the used materials away.

Killua’s legs were much weaker than he’d expected, and as the last of the ropes was pulled off he felt himself tremble slightly. He paused, leaning back against the wall, heart still racing a touch too fast. Gon was at his side faster than he could blink, warm arms flying up to lock around his chest and cradle him gently.

“Whoa there. Tired?”

Killua sighed, squirming uncomfortably, his dick still obnoxiously hard in his pants. Gon’s was too, he knew – he could feel it pressing against the outside of his thigh. It would be a problem unless they took care of it somehow.

“Not exactly. A little shaky, more so.”

Killua relaxed into Gon’s embrace, startling the slightly shorter man with his sudden weight. His wrists felt a little raw from all the tugging on the ropes, but the blazing tension was starting to bleed out of his muscles, leaving him feeling warm and a bit sluggish despite the hard-on still throbbing between his legs. The collar around his neck shifted, chafing a little against pale, sweaty skin. Then he nudged Gon mulishly, headbutting him faintly towards the lounge area and the bar, and Gon took the hint and started walking him towards the couches. Silver trotted alongside them, watching carefully still but not interrupting their soft conversation, guiding them around others’ scenes skillfully.

Gon laughed a little sheepishly as they got to the couches and sat down, curling into each other. Killua laid his head on Gon’s shoulder, then hummed when Gon set his chin in the white hair and made a tiny concerned noise.

“Oh, uh. Did I get carried away?”

“Mm, no. I liked it. I just feel worn out, for some reason. Can we do it again?”

Amber eyes blinked owlishly down at him for a moment, and then a delighted smile broke across Gon’s face.

“Oh, I’d love that!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A direct follow-up to the previous chapter. Mostly discussions of consent and a lil bit of soft aftercare. STILL not Explicit yet.
> 
> ...also a few daddy jokes. Because I can XD
> 
> I'm finally getting the gumption up to write the last, fun chapter. Expect that here in a bit 👀

Silver came back over to them after a moment of chatting with the bartender, and passed Gon two cups of water with straws poked in the lid and a bar of generic chocolate. Killua perked up almost immediately. Chocolate, _yes._

She caught the gleam of sudden enthusiasm in his eye and laughed politely.

“Chocolate is very good to snack on after a scene,” she explained. “It mimics the happy, safe chemicals – makes you feel good – and so it helps avoid any drops afterwards. And then water, for obvious reasons. Both of you should eat some.”

Gon shook his head in resignation, breaking off a piece and eating it, first, completely heedless of the pout Killua threw up at him, and then held the rest to Killua’s lips. For a moment, Killua hesitated though, miffed by being hand-fed. But the pleading glint in Gon’s eye won him over, and he started to nibble, quickly demolishing the whole thing. Silver laughed a little bit again, this time more startled than polite. Killua went red in the face, but didn’t move, still cuddled into Gon’s side, those strong arms thrown protectively around his torso. Gon’s body was too warm for him to move away.

“Cozy,” Killua hummed then, and Gon giggled, looking pleased as punch, and nodded with his chin still sitting on Killua’s puff of white hair.

“Very cozy,” he agreed. Then he paused, biting his lower lip, and took a deep breath.

“Did I do okay, Killua?”

Gon’s voice trembled a bit, nerves clearly shuddering through him. Silver’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at his anxiety. But Killua just closed his eyes, smiling faintly.

“I liked it a lot, Gon, you’re worrying too much.”

“No, I mean – it wasn’t like what your family did to you?”

_Oh._

Silver was watching him carefully when he opened his eyes, her expression carefully schooled into neutrality. Suddenly her gaze prickled, and Killua glared down at the ground, trying to bore a hole through the concrete with his eyes.

“I don’t really know how to explain it, Gon,” he answered finally, refusing to meet his boyfriend’s amber-caramel gaze. The black crop top he wore was feeling a little thin now, same with the leggings, his body temperature dropping out of the heated arousal range. Time to change the subject, a bit, just for long enough to gather his thoughts.

“Did _you_ like it? Tying me up, I mean,” he asked, trying to stay casual. Gon went red as a tomato, a sheepish grin splitting his cheeks, and Killua paused. Uh oh.

“…Yeah, a lot actually,” Gon confessed finally, his voice a low mutter. Almost instantly indignation spiked in the center of Killua’s chest and he sat up, growling at his partner. Gon squawked, waving his hands about in a mild panic. “I mean it in the good way!”

Killua rolled his eyes, already well aware how Gon meant his comment, and tucked his face back into Gon’s shirt, nuzzling in close. His boyfriend’s body heat wrapped around him pleasantly. Cozy indeed. Usually this sort of cuddling went the other way around – Gon shoving his face into Killua’s neck or stomach, demanding attention the way a boisterous puppy would – but it was kinda nice to curl up like this. Gon definitely knew some tricks in the whole cuddling scene.

“I know, I know,” he sighed, reassuring his fretting boyfriend with a few taps on the kneecap. The words were present now, to explain his feelings on the whole experience, and there was a certain kind of relief at being able to name the emotions that had swelled through him. He glanced up at Silver, who was leaning away, the expression on her face still a touch concerned.

“I liked it too, Gon,” he started a touch unsteadily, aware that Gon had stiffened beneath him. “And…yeah, it was like what Mom and Dad did to me. But…but it was different too, okay?”

Gon had frozen up, and Silver’s concern had deepened into sorrow and understanding. Killua felt his chest tighten at the look – she’d probably put the pieces together. The pieces of his past, and the pain that had come with it.

“I don’t want it to be like what they did, Killua,” Gon mumbled. His arms tightened around Killua’s shoulders, comfortingly tight. His jaw bobbed through unruly white waves as he spoke, fluffing the hair pleasantly. His anxiety over the whole thing was palpable, like the air had thickened with smoke.

Blue eyes hardened, and Killua took a deep breath.

“Well, I do.”

He could almost here the gears grinding to a halt in Gon’s brain, and Silver raised an eyebrow in surprise. Killua bit his lip, struggling with the words on his tongue despite knowing how to voice his thoughts.

“Why?”

Gon’s voice was strangled, tight with shock. Killua closed his eyes. He knew why, but at the same time it made no sense – even to him. Why _would_ he like being tied down, held helpless when there was so much in his past to make it so terrifying? So painful? Why on earth would he find that enjoyable, after everything he’d been through?

But the answer was right next to him, warm against his cooling skin, fretting in that panicked way that always seemed to shatter what was an otherwise shameless confidence.

“Because it’s you, Gon.”

He sat upright more, so he could meet Gon’s tremulous stare. Those soft honey eyes were brimming with confusion and fear – fear of being too rough, of going too far, of doing something wrong (again).

Killua swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Because it’s you doing this to me, I want it. That’s why,” he exhaled finally, the rush of air leaving his lungs like some kind of weight being lifted off his chest. “I’m in control of it, even when I’m surrendering to you – I know one word from me will have you stop cold. And that takes a lot of power away from those memories.”

Then he looked up, fluttering a tiny kiss over Gon’s jawline, and smirked against that salty skin. Gon’s five o’clock shadow was starting to creep through his skin in prickly stubble, and it tickled Killua’s lips. Cute…

“So…it’s just because it’s me? That’s it? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Gon’s voice shook with disbelief. Across from them, Silver’s face pinched, dark eyebrows dropping low on her forehead. Clearly this wasn’t going well.

“Pause for a moment.”

Silver’s voice was calm, and they both looked at her in surprise, not expecting the sudden interjection. She leaned back in the cushions across from them, her expression very bland.

“I’m going to be very clear about this,” she started, green eyes flashing in warning. “The first, most important rule of engaging in safe kink is that you _respect consent._ And that means you respect it when its both revoked _and _given, which leads to the second rule. You _must_ trust your partner’s word in kink play. Trust is everything.”

She pointed at Gon, now looking stern.

“You. Your submissive is explicitly telling you that he enjoyed the scene that just occurred. You need to trust that he’s telling the truth, no matter if it makes logical sense. From what I can gather, there’s some past trauma involved here, and brains don’t often respond logically to that. Trust his judgement, trust his knowledge of his own likes and dislikes, and trust that he’ll notify you of triggers as they arise so you can work through them together.”

Gon hung his head and Killua sat up fully against Gon’s side, still feeling a little shaky. Then Silver rounded on him, that same stern, calm reproach etched into her face, and he flinched. What was with this trend of tiny women being obnoxiously terrifying? First Bisky, now Silver. With a hint of irony, he remembered having the same thought about the broad woman outside – Silver’s submissive, it seemed like. So they were two sides of the same coin, then.

She wagged her finger at him reprovingly.

“And you. Your dominant is explicitly telling you that he’s uncomfortable with certain aspects of the scenario that just occurred. You need to respect that he’s withdrawn consent at this point. You can discuss why he feels this way, of course, and you should probably do so considering the nature of this disagreement. But if he’s uncomfortable, that’s it. You’re done. Do you both understand?”

The flush of sudden realization and shame colored his cheeks pink. Curse his paleness – at least Gon’s warm bronze skintone could hide blushes a little better. Silver watched them both suffer shamefully for a moment, eyebrows arching high on her forehead. Then she gestured at the cups of water she’d brought them earlier.

“Stay here, drink some water and talk it out, you two,” she said gently. “You’re far from the first couple to run into snags when it comes to this sort of thing. I’ll be back with you in a minute or five – I’ve got to check on my sweet one outside.”

She got up with a bounce, spinning her riding crop around her fingers nimbly, and trotted off towards the door, giving them a bit of privacy to talk – or, as much privacy as could be had in a now-lively kink club. Several other couples and trios, including a few that seemed very new – and the odd group of seven in the corner – had arrived while they’d been playing around and the hubbub had risen to a dull, chattering roar.

The slow lump in the center of Gon’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, pulling back by just a little bit. The sudden lack of warmth against Killua’s side sent a chill down his spine and he stifled a shiver. This was important. But he must have betrayed something, because Gon’s face twisted up in concern and mild hurt, and he pulled Killua into a hug again, tucking his face into the crook of Killua’s neck and breathing, long and slow.

“That. Right there,” Gon said, his voice deliberately even. “You’re cold and you didn’t tell me. You just let me pull off.”

Killua blinked, not quite understanding.

“The conversation was important,” he said, baffled by Gon’s sudden focus on that small detail. “We need to talk about this.”

“Well, yes, I agree,” Gon said, his voice somewhat exasperated by- Killua didn’t know what. “But if you’re going to be submissive, I need you to put yourself first. You can’t…you can’t ignore discomfort for any reason. And you do it so casually, prioritizing anything but yourself.”

The puzzle pieces clicked together then and Killua let out a long breath.

“That’s why you’re so worried about this, isn’t it? You really think I’m ignoring my own discomfort just to make you feel better.”

Gon went tense, his body rigid against Killua’s.

“It’s not like you haven’t done it before,” he said quietly and _oh_ if that wasn’t painfully true. This wasn’t just Gon wanting to be sure he’d performed well – it was Gon actively trying to make sure he wasn’t missing signs of repeating the mistakes of a war fought in their childhood. And in doing so…he wasn’t listening to the words being said, too caught up in his own perception and feelings on the matter to see and hear anything other than what he wanted to see and hear.

They really were falling into familiar patterns, weren’t they?

“Okay…” he swallowed hard around the words. “You’re right about that. I’m bad at putting myself first when it comes to you. So I’ll make you a…a promise, okay?”

Gon pulled back a little, nodding slowly, the faint hints of stubble on his chin pricking through his skin. The dark fabric of his shirt was muted under the white lights above, softly charcoal against the pitch black of the couches.

“What is it?”

“That, when we do this again, whoever is submissive will be required to tell the truth at all times,” he decided. Gon cocked his head to the side.

“So…since you’re submissive right now…if I asked you who ate the last pack of my veggie crisps, you’d have to answer truthfully?” Gon’s hazel eyes flickered with mirth, and Killua went stiff with indignation and no little embarrassment.

“Are you serious right now-”

“Answer the question, Killua,” Gon teased then, grinning like a loon, and Killua grumbled. Of course this idea would bite him in the ass. But if it fixed the problem…

“Yes, I’d have to answer truthfully,” he groaned. “Leave it to you to take advantage of the one idea I had to make you feel better.”

“Killua, did you eat my snacks?”

Killua flicked Gon’s nose, irritably mumbling an affirmative under his breath, and Gon laughed, the tension visibly sliding off his face. He looked much more relaxed now, much less worried about the whole situation. So Killua flicked his nose again.

“So. Because I’m now wide open for you to take complete advantage of me,” He scowled when Gon giggled cheerfully. “In return, the dominant in the scene – right now, _you_ – have to respect that every word out of my mouth is the gospel truth and believe it.”

A warm hand came up then to cup his face, and without thinking he returned the gesture, reaching out to feel soft stubble prickle at the pads of his fingertips. Gon nuzzled into his hand, humming in content agreement.

“So. I liked what we just did,” he repeated, feeling Gon’s gaze on him sharpen with warring confusion and hesitance acceptance. “It reminds me of what I’ve been through, yes. But it’s not the same because I know I’m _choosing_ to let this happen. I trust that you’re only doing it because I want it to happen. Does…is that gonna sink into your thick head now?”

Gon pouted at him, and the hand gently stroking Killua’s cheek and the prickly patch where his sideburns usually grew in dropped away, a finger hooking into the tooled blue collar still clasped around his neck.

“You’re so rude, considering I just had you tied to the wall like a starfish,” Gon huffed, but there was a slow kind of acceptance coloring the pace of his words. White teeth bit down on that bottom lip, tugging briefly. Then Gon seemed to come to a decision about something and sighed.

“I don’t understand why you like it,” he said honestly. “But…I trust you. And I know I like it when you let yourself be open like that. It…it feels nice, that I’m allowed to make you helpless. It feels nice that you’ll let me take care of you. But I have a rule.”

Killua nodded slowly, unsure of what exactly his boyfriend was trying to get at. That caramel gaze was stiff, tacky with determination.

“I do _not_ want to hurt you, not seriously,” Gon said firmly. “I won’t do it. No…whips or whatever that fringe-thing was from earlier. None of it.”

Killua blinked. But it made sense, made perfect sense. And this was the consent thing again. Gon said no, so they wouldn’t. And it wasn’t a big deal – he honestly didn’t think pain would be anything but a turn-off at this point, considering even the general idea of a bullwhip brought his screeching mother to his mind. Nothing like the idea of a parent to kill the mood.

“Okay, I understand that,” he shrugged. “I’ll tell you when discomfort turns into pain. Is that what you’re looking for?”

Gon nodded in relief and Killua pressed his forehead to that bronze one across from him, feeling far better about the whole affair. He hummed, content with his boyfriend’s body warm in his arms.

“Maybe we should write this down?” Gon mused, breath fanning hot onto Killua’s cheek, and after a moment of consideration, Killua dipped his head, skin sliding over the constellation of freckles lighting up Gon’s brow.

“Sounds good to me…_daddy._”

Gon reeled back, going scarlet across the face, suddenly a rosy blushing mess, and Killua couldn’t help cackling at the sight, burying his face in Gon’s shoulder to muffle the howls coming out of his mouth. The reaction. Priceless.

“D-d-d- Killua, _no- _Ewww, I don’t _like_ that at _all-_”

“Okay, okay- oh my _god,_ your face was good,” Killua wheezed, turning his head to see Gon huff and stuck out his tongue, pouting. Then some sharp, glinting playfulness crept into those hazel eyes, and he let out a soft hum, wrapping one arm around Killua’s torso and sneaking the other into his hair, ruffling gently.

Then the hand in his hair grabbed and pulled, tugging Killua’s head back and baring his throat to Gon. He let out a stilted gasp, not expecting the hint of rough play but fully enjoying the sudden vulnerability that came with having his hair pulled and his neck exposed.

“Oh- fuck.” Gon’s grinning face loomed above him, smug in the knowledge that Killua was allowing the manhandling.

“You are _not_ allowed to say that again. Absolutely not,” Gon huffed down at him. Then his grin widened. “I wouldn’t mind you calling me ‘sir’ though. If you wanted to.”

Killua laughed in spite of himself, the idea just sending a shivering thrill down his spine. Provoking Gon like this was…surprisingly fun.

“Right, right. Clearly I’m _your_ daddy, not the other way around.”

“Wha- _Killua!_”


End file.
